Selecting
Descriptive Words
Descriptive
words are the most valuable tools of any writer. Choosing the
right descriptors can make a mediocre tale a sensual adventure;
enticing the reader - with sights, sounds, smells, and emotions -
to keep reading even a dull plot. Choosing the wrong descriptors
– or the wrong number of descriptors - can also turn a good story
into a real yawner. Most mistakes writers make when describing
something fall into three categories: over-describing,
under-describing, and using the wrong descriptor for the mood of
the piece. Mood in this context can, but doesn’t necessarily,
mean an emotional state as much as a state of mind.
Over-describing is usually the result of a writer that either
doesn’t trust a word to do its work or hasn’t found the right
word. Using a multitude of words to make up the deficit is a
natural reaction. Quite often, a writer who has put a lot of
thought into a story will over-describe because of a deep-seated
belief that the reader has to have the same concept of the detail
as the writer does. Every motion and thought of our character is
described in detail. Every feature of the landscape mapped out.
We tell the hapless reader everything we know. Rarely does this
work. Instead of immersing the readers in our marvelous story, we
are boring them to tears by taking too long to get to the point.
Treat the
relationship with your readers as a brand new love affair. Flirt
with the details. Give out just enough information so that they
are enamored and want more. As you choose your descriptors, ask
yourself if this titillates or overpowers. Include only those
details that are necessary to move the story forward, or to
develop the character as needed for your plot. Be a word miser.
Grudgingly give out only your best words. In the hectic world of
the 21st century, your reader will thank you for it by
coming back again and again.
Under-describing, on the other hand, leaves our reader feeling
like something is missing. In our haste to move from A to B, we
forget to woo our readers to follow along. We edit ruthlessly and
unknowingly edit out our readers’ motivation to stick with us.
Even the Internet-accustomed, information-saturated readers want
more than bare bones. How much more depends on where we are
trying to take them, but we must provide sustenance to feed the
curiosity and extend the attention span.
The third,
and possibly most common, mistake is using the wrong
descriptor. When describing a kitten, don’t use words like
ferocious, carnivore, or predator. That sounds simplistic, but it
is a fairly accurate dramatization of this problem. We have to
make sure that the mood we evoke in our reader is the one that
will ensure the result we want. It would be exceedingly
convenient if the moods could be listed for you here, but there
are as many moods as there are writers and readers. Any article
length list would not be comprehensive. A good starting place,
for anyone interested in pursuing this thought, would be making a
list of your own moods for a few days. Try it. Make a chart and
list your state of mind once an hour. It is quite enlightening.
The best way
to be sure we are using the right mood for our piece is to decide
ahead of time what result we want from this bit of writing. From
there, we can decide what is the best way to get John Q. Reader
from his comfortable, average, normal state of mind to where we
want him to be. Write it down and put it somewhere handy. When
you have finished the piece, get up and take a walk, call a
friend, or some other activity to take your mind completely away
from the subject.
After your
break, go back to your desk and read the statement we set aside
earlier. Read it again. Set it carefully at the front of your
mind. Then read your story or article with special attention to
your descriptions. Do the descriptions serve your ultimate goal;
the desired result you wrote down earlier? Mark any words that
don’t quite fit as you go, but don’t stop until you get to the
end. Immediately after finishing this read, stop and assess how
close you came to what your goal was. The easiest rating to use
is probably the familiar 1 – 10 scale. This will give you an idea
how much self-editing you need to do before submitting your work.
After you’ve
completed this test, start the self-editing process by asking if
there is sufficient description. Did you woo your readers into
following you down that path?
Once you can
answer ‘yes’ to that question, the next answer you need is: Did
you over-explain anything? Your readers don’t want the details
about every passing conversation or step your character makes –
even if he is moving through some awesome scenery or meeting
fascinating people. Don’t describe it unless your story
desperately needs the description.
The last, and
possibly most important, question is: Does that description
serve my goal for this piece? Make sure you aren’t assigning
lion-like traits to your kitten. Your thesaurus again becomes
your best friend to relieve that poor little kitty of her
ferocious tendencies. Make her perfectly soft and cuddly.
When this
process is finished, do the self-test again, like you did after
the first draft. Rejoice in your improved score, but repeat as
necessary. Your editor and your readers will thank you.
